This week I spent a lot of time packing and moving. I was so busy that I kind of forgot to eat, I guess. Then I’d make a plan to cook an elaborate and healthy meal once I was finished packing. The packing took longer than I thought, and I was starting to grow hungry and impatient. I found a tupperware full of frozen Christmas treats from my mom. I ate a couple, then a couple more, and then a couple more again. I didn’t have the patience or time to wait and put together a healthy meal. Instead, I was left initially satisfied. But in the end I felt like crap. By the way, I think this might be Taco Bell’s business strategy.
Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright. -Genesis 25: 29-34 (ESV)
The story may seem irrelevant to you, or outdated. But I think we do this all the time. We are promised blessings and fulfillment from God. For us that are Christians, that is our birthright. We are called sons and daughters of God. But how often do we dismiss these promises for something that initially satisfies? We trade what God has in store for us for something much less fulfilling. We settle.
I think of all the women and girls who settle for less than they really desire and deserve. They want a man who pursues, cherishes and loves them; yet they settle for someone who uses and manipulates them. You’re worth more than that.
You deserve more than a man who disrespects your boundaries physically. You deserve a man who fights for you and is intentional with you. You desire a fulfilling marriage, yet you settle for a guy who says he loves you and then goes home and watches pornography.
You desire a guy who compliments you and calls you beautiful. But you settle for a guy who ignores you all day and expects you to jump in bed with him at night.
I guess I can’t say for sure. Maybe you would say you don’t want more. Or maybe I’m unrealistic or old-fashioned. But maybe you just don’t believe it’s possible for you to have more. I don’t know many girls who grow up dreaming about their first one night stand. I don’t know many girls who grow up dreaming about settling for a man, rather a boy, who doesn’t respect them but rather wants to use them for their body. I don’t know many girls who dream about being with a guy who goes home with a different girl every night.
I know a lot of girls who aren’t even Christians, who wish they would have waited for their husbands. Yet they settled for what society threw at them and what that selfish boyfriend told them.
Ladies, you are settling, and you are worth more than that. When you get hungry, you start forfeiting what you really desire for what you think will fill you up and make you happy. When you are lonely and really just want a man in your life, you’ll settle for anyone. You’ll dismiss a real loving and godly relationship to the first guy who shows interest in you. You’ll give up a fine china, white table cloth meal to eat beans from a bowl.
If you have to keep convincing yourself that he loves you, then he probably doesn’t. If you have to keep convincing yourself that he is worth dating or being with, then you’re probably settling.
Maybe you’ve already given yourself to a guy, physically. Now you don’t believe your future husband could ever want you. So you choose to stay with that guy who just wants you for what you can give him. You don’t believe there is anyone better for you. So you settle yet again.
“Be very careful you don’t give up what you want most, for what you want now.” -Steven Furtick
How are you settling? Are you keeping up positive boundaries and know what you truly desire in a man? Or are you settling for the first guy that walks by and shows any interest at all? Are you compromising your values and beliefs because you just want to fill that void already? You’re worth more than that.
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